A Poms Ashes

Well NZ lost to Australia last night in Rugby League thanks to Darren Lockyer scoring an extra time try.  So there goes my chance of deflecting the Ashes stick on Monday at work.  Anyway England today have restored some pride at the Gabba in Brisbane to finish 293-5.  I don’t think we have a cat in hells chance or winning or drawing the game but at least we have had a fight back!.  The only hope tomorrow on the final day is that England bat the whole day out (not possible on the previous showings) or that rain washes the day out.  Well a few storms have been floating round near the end of the day but I don’t think the Aussie weather is going to save a loss in the first test.  To be honest Australia deserve a 1-0 lead so I cannot deny them that.  The important things that I have taken out of today are:

1) Ricky Ponting has some kind of back injury, which hopefully for England may cause him problems in future tests.
2) England made a fight back and caused some problems for the first time in this test.

Hopefully today’s fight back will be built upon tomorrow and even if we/when we lose that will be taken into the next test and hopefully Monty (the might Indian spinner) will be unleashed in this the Ashes tournament.

I’m in work late tomorrow so hopefully the Ashes banter will of died down a little.  If not I’ll play the old line of “You’ll never own the real Ashes”

How poor can this get!  There is no excuse for England being so bad at both batting and bowling and Australia can do no wrong at the moment.  After watching some of the game at home this morning and England losing 2 or 3 wickets in quick succession I was fuming!  My wife and I had already decided to go down to the beach today and we left whilst I was still fuming.

The beach was gorgeous today - clear blue sky (it normally is here in Queensland), lovely and hot and our local beach is one of those dream white sand beaches which is deserted most of the time.  Today however it was the surf clubs from the region having a tournament against one another.  This was the kind of stuff you see on the TV in the UK with all the surf lifesavers racing one another at different rescue scenarios.  It was great to watch and a welcome break from the England fiasco.  It got to 1:30/2pm and we decided to get some lunch.  As we made our way off the beach the tannoy announced who had won the last heat.  The chap who was announcing then proceeded to announce that the Ashes play had been stopped as it was too hot for England and then he said the following:

“Poor little diddums”

The blood started to boil again and I yelled boll*ks to his announcement.  Oh well it made me feel a bit better.

This arvo has not gone much better for England so we had a swim in the pool and enjoyed the hot weather ;-) God bless Australia weather!

I watched the last half hour and during the commercial break here I noticed an advert called “Tonk a Pom”.  This was a commercial by Ford suggesting you go to their web site and play a game and help “Tonk a Pom” all summer (I won’t give the link for obvious reasons).

We never have owned a Ford and always prefer Honda & Mazda – something to do with the reliability.  I now know I never will own a Ford, maybe Honda or Mazda should run a campaign something along the lines of:

Tonk a Ford
Wreck a Ford
Boycott a Ford

Fingers crossed tonight that NZ beat Australia at Rugby League.  It would give me some great ammunition for Monday to counter the Ashes stick I will get.

Well near the end of Day 2 ‘Bruce’ and me decided after a bit of banter at the office to go down the pub and watch the England innings start.  It was a typical pub on a Friday in Australia in that it seemed to be full of labourers and the older male generations.  What started well turned into yet more of a disgrace for England as we lost 2 wickets.  As McGrath bowled for his hat trick and I got yet more stick I decided to get another round of Guinness - even the girl behind the bar was engrossed in the action!  What a sh*t end to the day and although I gave Bruce more stick and said that its the terrible Aussie wicket it was a bloody disgrace in terms of England cricket.

Well another bad start to the day with the Aussies piling on the runs has changed into me giving the Aussies at work a bit of stick.  I keep going round the office chanting ‘Poor old Ricky’ - Ricky Ponting got out on 194 - 6 short of his double century.  I’m looking forward to us getting in now and having a bat but I know there is always the chance that we will have a collapse at some point.  Expecting England to get 500+ is asking a lot but then they have picked batters in this team so they’d better come up with the goods.

The following are some fun and disappointing comments I found on the baggygreen site here in Aus:

Hoggard to Ponting, no run, lovely ball outside off, but Ponting is looking as solid as a breezeblock. In fact, a big pile of breezeblocks all wearing t-shirts with “I’m solid”

Hoggard to Ponting, OUT, Ponting’s superb innings ends. He shuffled across his stumps looking to work to leg and was struck in front by Hoggard. A vociferous and pleading appeal was answered - finally - by Steve Bucknor and Ponting reluctantly turned and headed off, but not before he had aimed a massive swipe at the turf on his way back to the pavilion

The lack of noise could be because the Barmy Army have been split up by the killjoys who spend the rest of their time puncturing the inflatable balls which come from the stands

Matt says: “I was at the game yesterday and the crowd are quiet because there are cops and security staring down the crowd and the fans are too scared to cheer or do the Mexican wave for fear of getting ejected! They have ruined the atmosphere!”

And the Barmy Army start singing. Perhaps the silence wasn’t so bad …

Many of the Barmy Army have boycotted today’s cricket because of the treatment of their bugler, who was ejected yesterday. Paul Burnham, the leader of the Army, said “an awful lot” of members had chosen to watch from their hotels - and he also suggested that the Barmy Army tour of Australia could be scrapped.

I was fortunate enough to be at the ‘Gabba for the last Ashes in Aust and thoroughly enjoyed my two days, the atmosphere was fantastic. The Barmy Army provide an aspect of cricket no other country can. At no stage did I feel threatened or intimidated. Our politicians and sports administrators have decided that passion and atmosphere are not good for the game.

There’s a mutiny going on. The PA has been annexed by the Fanatics who are singing a version of “In the Jungle” with the lyrics “They whinge-away” and the entire stadium is booing. Colonel Andrew Miller of Tonbridge writes: “It’s loud, abysmal and far more offensive than any lone trumpeter.”

 

Found this interesting picture on an Aussie news web site last night:

Here’s some comments from the cricinfo.com site which the Aussies are following.  Im sticking to my BBC live ticker which I have introduced to Bruce and friends - after the intial taking the pi*s they admit it is better than cricinfo.

“Warne will be tickled pink at the turn his Hampshire colleague is getting. The new ball is due but not being taken yet …”

“More than a few of the Barmy Army are going a rather glorious variety of pink. Sales of Aftersun expected to soar in Brisbane over the coming hours …”

“The Barmy Army are either bored or unconscious as the chanting has got quieter”

“England look jaded. A day in the heat and one with little to get worked up about has taken its toll”

Well what started as an adrenaline fuelled day has kind of pierterson’d (excuse the pun!) out.  I came into work and immediately seized on ‘Bruce’:

 “Good day for a thrashing by the Poms”

He immediately took the bait and said that we’d be in for a lesson on how to play the game.  At this point I raised the fact that the Barmy Army had already inflicted the first defeat on Australia this series by beating the ?????? and we both couldn’t remember what they called the Aussie fans (‘Fanatics’ apparently).  He said that this is not the real series and that it wasn’t that important but one thing I have noticed since being here in Oz is that Aussies will take any sport victory and milk it, but if they lose there is always some excuse.  The recent Rugby Union and League games are a classic example:

Australia lose to Ireland in union – “Terrible weather to blame” or “We didn’t turn up”.
Australia beat England last weekend in League and I get loads of stick, but then I highlight that the week or so before England beat them in Sydney – “Yeah we didn’t turn up” or “Yeah the team wasn’t full strength ”, etc.

You can see a familiar pattern here.  The Aussies love winning but they cannot take the losing at all.  The World Cup was and is still a sore point.  The fact they lost via a bad referee decision (penalty decision in the last minute) is still causing them pain.  I know we (England) still go on about losing to the Germans but we have had many similar failures since then and we moan for a few days and then its history.  I’m sure they will get used to it soon enough.

Anyway back to the Ashes and today is not looking to good.  Currently its 296-3 and I am being told by ‘Bruce’ that they’ll get 500+ and make us to follow on.  Come on ENGLAND!  Why oh why didn’t they play Monty in this test.  We should have come out fighting in this series.  Maybe tomorrow will be different.

Well this has made my evening here in Oz.  The Barmy Army fans have today beaten the Aussie fans they call the Fanatics (!) at a 20/20 game in Brisbane.  This will give me some ammunition tommorow when I walk into work and I know just the typical Queensland Aussie who I will target - I’ll call him ‘Bruce’ in case he reads this blog and see’s what i’m up to ;-) 

You can read more about our first victory in Oz here

Well it’s hotting up over here in terms of temperature (29 degree C today) and the ashes build up.  Last night we had ‘Ashes to Ashes’ on TV which involved a studio audience which was 50% Aussie fans and 50% Barmy Army!  That’s something I have really noticed here that they really admire the Barmy Army and in a way are trying to copy them.  The show consisted of a few ex Aussie players and a live link to the England team hotel in Brisbane.   Pieterson was interviewed and came across very well and seemed to indicate that Bell was fine and would be playing so that good news.

Well it all starts tomorrow so let’s see what happens and I am sure the banter will start at work in earnest!

Well its not been the perfect preparations to this ashes series but then when has it!  With the return home of Marcus Trescothick last week under mysterious circumstances of ‘metal illness’ or ’stress related illness’ (I have already had the stick at work that the Poms are going home scared) and the announcement this lunchtime whilst I went out to the supermarket that Ian Bell is a doubt for the Brisbane test after injuring his hand in training I’m beginning to get that worried feeling. 

I see also that Shane Warne has declared that England are being negative by filling our first squad with middle order batsmen.  I do have to agree with Shane here - it would be brilliant to see Monty Panesar blast into the first test in Brissie like Pieterson did in the last ashes, but lets wait and see what happens on Thursday.